I have decided that one day I want to be wealthy enough to be able to take a year off and sail around the world. Buy a boat and go. That would be fantastic. I would totally have days when I dress up and pretend I’m a pirate. Arr. Ohhh…I miss the beach.

There was something else…I can’t remember. Maybe I will later.

I woke up at 0530 this morning with the cramps of doom. I’m due for my next shot here soon, so maybe that’s why, but oh my lord they are horrible. I had to call off work because I was forced to take a vicodin, thus guaranteeing that I will be horribly nauseous and vomit for the next 24 hours. At least I could never be tempted to use this stuff recreationally, because it has to be the true lesser of two evils to be worth taking. Blah.

Jennie is having a girl! I know that no one reads this who doesn’t already know this, but on the off-chance, Jennie’s having a girl! I’m still dealing with a bevy of emotions about the subject, but at least now I can be happy for you Jennie, because for a few months I just couldn’t be, and I felt so bad. You’re going to be a great mom, and I’m actually really happy that when I have kids I’ll be able to call you for advice on things.

And for everyone who doesn’t know yet, I have a job. Yay! I’m working at HomeInstead Senior Care. Not exactly what I thought I would be going into, but I got hired really quickly and the pay is decent, so I’m excited. Now we just have to find Katie a job (grumble grumble), but I gripe about that way too much. Or maybe not enough, I’m not sure. Sometimes being too pushy achieves the opposite result, but I don’t know what else to do. It’s frustrating, but ultimately not my deal. It’s hard that I don’t have a real say in something that affects me so much though.

Ok, I’m watching Army Wives right now, and I usually cry through half of the episode, which isn’t the best thing to do when thinking about babies because it snowballs, so off we go.

How they clear houses in Iraq.

Harry Caray in Iraq. Hysterical.

Cell phone vs. Microwave. Very surprising.

Jet engine destroys a truck. Super cool.

I don’t know how they do this, but the water freezes instantly up into the bottle. Pretty darn cool.

Pilot’s eye view of a AH-1W doing training.

This is a great video, it’s about PTSD. I would definitely watch it last, because you’ll have a hard time watching the funny ones afterwards.

So I’m driving down the highway today and I see two motorcycle riders. They’re both wearing protective jackets and gloves. Those are really important things to have, because generally if you’re in a motorcycle wreck your knuckles are going to get busted up and you’re going to go flying so some protection on your torso is a must. So it’s great that they invested in their protective gear, it’s just a real shame that they’re going to DIE because they don’t think that a HELMET is as important as gloves. I mean, if you’re going without a helmet, why even bother with the other stuff? Kind of dumb, in my opinion.

An awesome thing happened on the highway too. I got a steady 26-30 MPG in my Jeep. That’s not too much lower than Sebastian, so I’m extremely happy.

I’m here! Yay! I got into Colorado Springs around 4PM yesterday, and after a good night’s sleep I’m ready to write about it.

The trip was pretty uneventful. I left late, around 9:30PM instead of 7, but oh well. My first stop was Sedalia, MO to pick up my cats. On the way there I saw what appeared to be a thunderstorm in the distance. I couldn’t really see the lightning, but I could see the big, orange, flashes of light behind these really huge clouds. The color struck me as odd, because it really was orange. I just kept looking at it, admiring how pretty it was. Then I got to my aunt’s, picked up my cats, and chatted for about an hour. When I started driving again, I noticed that not only was the storm still going on, it hadn’t moved. Blink. It was still in the exact same spot on the horizon. I know what you’re thinking, because I thought it too, and it really is the only logical explanation.

Space battle.

Someone, somewhere averted Earth’s domination last night. Let’s take a moment of silence to appreciate them.

The other thing I discovered on my trip is that when lightning bugs go splat on their windshield their splat keeps glowing. It’s creepy.

Other than that the trip was just long. Long, long, long, long, long. I left at 2130 Sunday night and arrived at 1600 Monday afternoon. It took me 18.5 hours to get here and I drove 1025 miles. HOO-effing-AH! And today the pods are here and I had internet set up, so things are rolling. I’m going to go take a gamble at opening the pods and getting out what I can.

Ok, take a look at this picture and tell me what come to YOUR mind.

Uh huh. I thought so. Want it big? Thick? Long? Want it kinky? Vanilla?

It’s an advertisement for Ugg boots. For boots! The other half of the picture said “Free Ugg Australia Boots.” I don’t know what two people making out has to do with boots, but whoever designed this ad deserves to be fired…or get a raise.

Well I haven’t done this in a while, and I don’t know if anyone looks at them, but they’ve been building up. Here we go.

My very favorite, a baby singing “Hey Jude.”
My second favorite, man vs. baby ninjas.
Liquid nitrogen in a swimming pool. It’s fantastic.
Teacher takes away chair and kid goes boom.
Kobe Bryant jumps over a swimming pool of snakes. It really is good.
The best man berates the groom for acting gay all these years. Long, but funny.
To make all the soldiers jealous because now they’re going to want to do this too.
An annoying talking dog, I guess they call it.
A less annoying talking dog.
This one’s for Katie, it’s a turtle pyramid.
Siberian throat singers. It’s interesting.
A shoplifting seagull. Good for a chuckle.
I don’t think this cat is going to get adopted. Poor thing.
The worst crash test of all time. Really.

The site is down? Is it still? What?

Well, apparently I had a kidney stone. It sucked bad. I’d been feeling some pain and nausea all day in my pelvic reason, so I called Dr. Dad because I was starting to get concerned, and he said he didn’t think it was anything abnormal. So of course, five minutes after we hang up the pain moves and multiplies. Mom took me to the ER, and they got me in pretty quickly, it took maybe 15 minutes max, probably because I was sitting in a wheelchair sobbing. We got back to my room and they needed to hook me up to an iv, which was fine, I wanted pain meds. So they stick my right arm. No vein. No blood even. So they stick my left arm. No vein. So they stick my right upper arm. No vein. So they stick my right arm again. This time they get the vein, but as soon as they began flushing it I started screaming bloody murder because it HURT! So that one didn’t work. Then they stuck my hand and got a vein, thank goodness. I got my saline hooked up and some anti-nausea meds. Then I got up to give urine because adding a catheter to my list of discomforts was not my idea of a good time. And after that (finally) I got morphine-derivative pain meds. They were amazing. I love iv drugs because you feel them hit, you don’t wait around for a gradual process like with a pill. The first dose was pretty good, but I asked for another and they gave it to me. Later they told me they’d given me 4mg, and they usually only give 1mg to a full grown man, so I think they were amazed I didn’t pass out. I was loopy and enjoying myself, but still awake. I got a CT scan, and my left kidney was inflamed and they found a tiny stone, I guess. It was odd, because the doctor at the hospital said they didn’t see a stone on the CT, but when I saw Dr. Jansen today she said they did and gave me a copy of the results (it did say there was one). So I started feeling better and they sent me home. I’m still feeling better, only now my chronic right side pain has decided that this kidney stone stole it’s title of my worst pain ever and is working hard to earn it back. Whoever out there created this idea in my vital organs that whichever one fails first wins needs to be shot. Eventually.

Oh, and P.S. I also got a blood draw and two shots, so that equals eight sticks.